tick tock tick tock

Bye

Thu, 11 Nov 2010 19:59:09 GMT

I have nothing that I am interested in blogging openly about.
I won't be using LiveJournal much at all anymore. Mostly only for private posts in which only I can see.

I came here with my dick in my hand--

Sat, 28 Aug 2010 20:00:35 GMT

don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass, be cool.

I'm in Hong Kong now...

Sun, 22 Aug 2010 14:47:35 GMT

...But this is a thousand times more important.

Sorry, I can't talk right now.

Mon, 19 Apr 2010 22:30:12 GMT

I'm busy wearing my Tool shirt and looking like the dude from Coheed and Cambria.

Expect a massive update soon.

"I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it."

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 20:40:09 GMT

UPDATE: PART DEUX.

February 21st:
Got the pictures back from the shoot with Jennifer Garcia of Le Mew Photography for Artifice Clothing.

Went to finally go see The Toothfairy. We were stuck in the front row which was headache central. Thank goodness I had a glass bottle filled with white wine, otherwise I probably would have died from fail. Found out during the commercials there is a movie coming out called Revenge of the Furries. Lol'd and got weird looks. After the god-awful movie got out, we headed back to the house to be lazy, where I proceeded to drink more wine and watch tv.

February 22nd:
Continued my cycle of elliptical, tv, internet. Went out to dinner at Sizzlers with my mom and cousins. Let me just tell you what a dream come true an endless salad bar and buffet is for a bulimic chick. I WAS IN HEAVEN. Afterward we drove to CVS where I bought a new make-up brush set. Got back to my cousin's house and watched some tv show on King Tut and trolled the interwebs.

February 23rd:
Woke up from a dream where a vicious Chinese woman who was after my wine morphed into a miniature dinosaur and was biting my hands. It was terrifying. Left Sacramento pretty early to meet my Uncle half way in William's so I could go home. TROLLED FOR HOURS. Found this and lol'd.

February 24th:
Lounged around online for the most part while having a free-stylin' battle with Kao over MySpace.
I totally kicked his ass with:

'i spin yo mama round like wheel of fortune, honey
throw her on the ground, pounding fists til her nose gets bloody
skull fuck her brains til they be turnin inta puddy
knocking on the back door, get my dick a lil muddy
shove it down her gullet, slit her neck, laugh 'cause i think it's funny
blow a load down that bitches throat, watch it drip, then i steal her money'

Then I headed to the movies with my Grandma to see Shutter Island. It ended exactly how I suspected it would, but it was good nonetheless. Got dropped off at my apartment in town afterward and sat around talking and watching YouTube poop with Ravelle. That's pretty much our favorite late night pass-time.

February 25th:
I sat at around the house for the beginning of the day and then met up with Carrie to get coffee. We walked to The Critic, got our chai, and sat outside drinking the while I serenaded her with raunchy talk in Japanese. After we parted ways, I obsessively cleaned my apartment and left to go do laundry at my mom's house and tend to the cats. I stayed the night up there and plotted wonderful adventures with some friends in Fort Bragg to go stay the night at an abandoned house sometime in the near future.

February 26th:
Got a ride up to my Grandparent's house and walked in to find that mail for my food stamps, my social security card, my debit card, and my dread falls were all waiting on the table for me. Wonderful! I tidied up again, took a shower, blah blah. Found out my Grandparent's marijuana garden is gonna be featured in an upcoming Rolling Stones Magazine, watched The Matador for the millionth time, talked to Seiji about some important thaaaangs, then ZZzzZZzzzZz'd.

February 27th:
Woke up after a night of frightening nightmares involving a disco costume party with a Mexican matador zombie. Cleaned up a bit, and headed into town. I was supposed to go to some "obscure Japanese film" with my aunt, but she canceled last moment so I opted to walk to Safe Way to get some Starbucks where I ran into Ryan Riva and Carrie and made plans for later that evening. Then I headed home to play Castlevania: Lament of Innocence (which I hadn't played since 2006/07). When I heard the Lady GaGa remixes blasting in my driveway, I knew it was time to go PAAAAARTY. We drove around with a mixture of Trina, Nicki Minaj, and Lady GaGa blaring through the speakers. Scandalously ran stop signs in Redwood Valley, violently danced, and I was introduced to the song Fancy by Reba McEntire (it's a song about a mother who forces her daughter become a whore LOL). We ventured to Food Maxx to get liquor, but sadly they didn't have anything appealing. While Carrie was inside, Ryan and I opted to drive across the parking lot so we could pee by a sketchy RV. After our Food Maxx fail we headed over to Lucky. Picked up a 30 pack of Coors Light and headed over to Taco Bell and then Ryan's house. We kicked back and cracked open our cans while watching Showgirls on HBO. Then came the keyboard cleaner, endless hours of YouTube videos of crazy women, and prank calling. It was amazing fun. After Carrie left around 2am, Ryan and I took a few more bong rips and settled down watching strange soft-core Mexican porn. At around 3:30 we headed for Taco Bell once again and then he dropped me off at home.

February 28th:
I hung out at my mom's house and worked for my Grandparent's for a bit in order to get paid so I could pay rent. Then I returned home and hung out with an old friend from high school named Jimmy. We walked around and talked but he started to get all emo and "blah blah I want a girlfriend why are the girls I like taken blah blah emo emo suicide die die die" so I casually had to go home because I was all of the sudden "very busy". Ravelle finally got off of work and we started out our conversation with, "Chapter One could be 'How to Freebase a Hamburger'", went to McDonald's and then spent HOURS hours watching amazing YouTube poop such as:

Ravelle went to bed at around 1am wile I stayed up and watched more terrible videos before falling asleep around 3am.

I got them diamonds on my neck, got patron in my cup

Mon, 01 Mar 2010 01:35:45 GMT

if you wanna come and get it shawty, I don't give a fuck.

I can't even remember when the last time I posted was. I have been way too lazy to type....

February 14th:
I got ready to go spend Valentine's Day with Seiji in San Francisco. My Mom's boyfriend gave me a ride to the Greyhound station and we saw the bus pull away just as we got there. Ukiah is so ghetto that there is only one bus per-day that leaves to the city, and I had missed it. I drove up to my Grandparent's house to pout, but then my Uncle said he would give me a ride to Santa Rosa where I could catch a different bus. We pulled up to the station where the buses are right as The Airporter was about to leave (the bus I was going to catch), so I ran to the door, flailing my arms, and the guy let me on for free. Score. The bus driver was this intense beefy bald guy with a goatee who had The Sickness by Disturbed as his ringtone. After overhearing my phone conversation with Seiji about how I missed the bus he offered to talk to the Greyhound driver at the next stop, he did, and that bus driver then let me on. I finally got to San Francisco around 6pm where Seiji met me at the Greyhound station. We took the Bart back to Mission and then a bus to his apartment where he gave me a lovely little rose and I gave him the cake I baked for him. We drank some champagne and attempted to watch movies, but we were a bit too distracted by each other. I sneakily and tipsily asked him if he was my boyfriend yet, and he said yes.

February 15th:
Woke up the next morning and got ready, we headed down to The Metreon to go see Daybreakers and hung out at the mall for a bit to get noms. The movie was pretty good. I bought a disposable camera at Wal Greens beforehand and after the movie, proceeded to obnoxiously take candid pictures. Then we headed back to his house.

February 16th:
We got ready and headed back to the Greyhound station so I could go home. Said our goodbyes, and then I left. Got home and kicked back.

February 17th:
Applied for jobs. BORING.

February 18th:
Watched Up with Ravelle and then went up to my Mom's in preparation to go to Sacramento.

February 19th:
Left early in the morning for Sacramento. On our drive we saw a bumper sticker that read, "INTERNATIONAL CANINE SEMEN BANK", we lol'd for a while. Stopped in Williams to get gas and I got a delicious smoothie. Continued our drive meanwhile every Nickelback song that came on the radio my Mom dedicated to me... What a sweetheart. Got to Sacramento around 2 and decided to do half an hour on the elliptical while listening to Diru, the kicked back and caught the end of Serenity on tv. For the rest of the day I pretty much relaxed and slowly took over the house.

February 20th:
Woke up pretty early and lounged around the house while sipping on white wine. Tobias drove over from Yuba City so we could finally hang out, sadly he was forced to sit around and listen to my crappy music while I did my make-up. After that we played pool and Tobi kicked my ass, then darts, where I TOTALLY kicked his... Sorta... We all left to go see The Toothfairy at around 7 or so (Tobi, My Mom, and my two cousins) but it was dang sold out. We headed back to the house and split up into different groups to watch tv. Rented District 9 on PPV (even though I had already seen it), then proceeded to watch more crappy television until like, four in the morning when we finally passed out in the tv room.

I'll update with Part Two later.

I'm amused.

Thu, 18 Feb 2010 00:46:01 GMT

I've been thinking a lot about my future

Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:57:05 GMT

and what I want to do career wise and I think perhaps I will pursue something along the lines of being a make-up artist.

I figure if I can make myself presentable and actually pretty on a daily basis, why not get paid to do so for someone else? Aside from my immediate family, Josh, and Dylan, no one has seen me without ANY make-up on in at least the last three years. No one (and I intend to keep it that way). I am seriously one ugly person without make-up, but no one would know because I'm a face painting expert!

Aside from wanting to make everyone beautiful, I am going to China this fall for two to six months. I'll be staying in Taishan and teaching young men and women conversational English so they can migrate to America. All paid for, the flight, housing, everything! Plus I get paid on top of all of that. I love having strange connections around the world. You can bet that I will be flying to Japan from China to make a brief visit, hopefully South Korea too so I can visit Min-Jun (my long time penpal).

Now I just need to devise a plan to scam my way out of doing my community service. This will be tricky but I am sure with Adam's help I will pull it off. Speaking of which, he called me last night to tell me that he is happy we are friends again and that, "I really like your new douche. I've seen some of the comments and picture comments he's left you and he seems like a really, really good guy. I'm glad you're not dating another asshole. I approve." Not that I needed his approval, but considering he loathes everyone, it was nice to hear. Oh, and he's paying for me to go to some herbalist acupuncturist woman because he is worried about my health lately. Awesome.

No Subject.

Thu, 04 Feb 2010 10:23:13 GMT

"Break me", she whispered. For a moment, lips parting, saliva like spider webs strewn from one to another. In an instant, tightly pressed back together to keep the words from pouring out, short breaths, in and out; lungs grasping, but hands grasping harder -gripping on to one another, anywhere, just come closer. Don't you know lust like this is dangerous?
Melt me down like plastic.
Consume me.

"I want to."

._.

Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:35:18 GMT

hungover.

Ohh... oh God.

Mon, 25 Jan 2010 22:29:46 GMT

I'm sitting on my new island of a futon, playing F.E.A.R. without a care in the world only to glance down for a brief moment and what do I see? Am... am I getting fucking cankles? I assure myself I am delusional, I know this, I've been through this before. I can't rid my mind of the repulsive image. In a desperate attempt to avoid the sickening thought (fact), I frantically dig through my purse, clawing it's innards, eventually leading me to pour out it's contents only to find- or more so- not find my fucking pill collection.

Today, like most others, is not my day. I may have a house key to call my own but I sure as hell do not have my sanity. Thank goodness I am avoiding all things productive... I really ought to leave the house.

I was feeling a bit down

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 06:16:06 GMT

BUT THEN I FOUND OUT AQUA HAS A NEW SONG ^____________^

I'm in love with the music video. Though nothing they do will ever top Lollipop.

YES.

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 01:32:51 GMT

Ravelle and I are getting an apartment in February! I start working full-time at Peking Tokyo on Saturday, and aside from having to deal with my creepster boss, life will be grand.

I'm so thrilled to not be living on a fucking hill anymore.

In other news, I think I just made a complete ass of myself. What's new!?

I think too much.

Fri, 08 Jan 2010 11:11:55 GMT

I wish I could turn my brain off for just one, solid minute.

-_-;;

so i herd you liek mudkipz

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 21:04:16 GMT

Joe Gumataotao Photography. New edit from the shoot I did in San Jose.

I leave for Washington in a week... I've very excited! I'm not looking forward to the freezing weather though...

Anyways, my New Years Eve wasn't too eventful. Ravelle and I got all dolled up and started drinking and listening to Eminem around 4pm. Then we walked to meet Seiji at the bus stop and went to some sketch-ass party with this terrifying and obnoxious old tweaker woman. It was too much... So we left and went back to Ravelle's. Woke up in the morning, went and got coffee at The Critic. Ran into Robert, it was nice to see him. Seiji and I got picked up, and we stopped by Be-bop's which to my surprise has had delicious food the past few times I have gone. Then we came up to my house and hung out! Went and saw Avatar later in the day, it was the second time I had seen it.. I still loved it though. Came home, took a bath, watched bizarre-o YouTube poop. Good stuff!!

I'm fairly sure this is my new favorite video now:

Seiji left yesterday, it was sad! I will miss him. I get to see him again though at the airport on the 9th! Bless his little soul for coming and mingling with me while I wait for my flight. My Mom finally got home last night, too. She had been gone for four days. She is my best friend, I hate when she is not around. I think I am starting to feel happier in life. More upbeat. It's been nice.

Brian Hirscher Photo

for Sugar Vanity Accessories by Ravelle

I think life just got very complicated.

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 02:39:09 GMT

I am broke.
I am digging my way out of a mental-shit hole state.
But I am motivated.

I have become very smitten with Seiji..
I cannot get him out of my head.

Kairu is moving to Japan.
Schwarze Sonne will continue there.
I want to be a part of that.
I know there is a lot in play with why we have met and become such close friends.
Only good things can come from this.

Now I am torn as to which goals I should work towards.
Moving to the bay area this summer?
Moving to Japan this year?
Modeling? Singing?
Both. But where?

These next few years are going to be VERY important.
In ways most will not imagine-- and I am beginning to realize more and more about myself.
For now I will keep the mindset of a plan to save money for moving (somewhere) and enough to visit Japan as planned with Sierra.

After Washington I will not be spending any money. It will be very difficult for me, but much is depended on that.

I am excited for where time will take me.

Merry Christmas

Fri, 25 Dec 2009 18:18:46 GMT

GET CRUNK, MOTHER FUCKERS

Thu, 24 Dec 2009 16:19:55 GMT

Happy Holidays!

I'm getting ready to go to Napa, which can only mean one thing: RITZY PARTY TIME.
<3

Gothy night + old pictures from 2007

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:16:30 GMT

I had a little bit of a gothy party with myself tonight. This is just further proof that I should a)not be allowed to have a webcam b)not be allowed to use the internet c)I have too much time on my hands. I'm really just considering installing F.E.A.R. on my computer and fucking the world completely.

hey, I was kinda cute with my sailor hat.

What is this?! A 2007 Goth Party? I think so.

Wow

Tue, 22 Dec 2009 02:27:44 GMT

I just got off the phone with Adam and he is actually happy and excited for me about Schwarze Sonne... Did not expect that from him at all- he even sent us a friends request and said, "I hope that Kyle will accept it since I'm a Jew." Lawlz. I had thought for sure he would mock me in some way. I had to get off the phone with him so he could listen to Liberty and Larceny. I was too shy to be on the phone with him while he listened to it- he's too much like a dad to me. Isn't that totally fucked since we dated? haha oh god...

I started reading this epically amazing book called House of Leaves. I suggest everyone check it out. It's grotesquely beautiful. I would actually like to be reading it right now, but Safe Way is too noisy, that and I am distracted by watching this elder woman eat fried chicken at the table next to me. She looks how I imagine I will look when I am older. Weird.

Anyways, candid shot from yesterday...

edit: I just ran into Logan and Evan at Safe Way. I have not really seen them since my partying days of 2007. Evan didn't even recognize me and Logan was just a little awkward but spunky as usual. I miss the good ol' days when we use to get drunk, do hella coke, and chase shit with baseball bats in the rain. I still have a black purse from 2007 that he used the inside of to bandage his elbow after elbowing out a car window when we were strung out. It's all bloody and gross inside. That was the same night we broke into a building, smashed all of the light bulbs, vandalized it, stole liquor from a party with Carrie, Cleo, and Kevin, and threw a brick through a windshield. Good times, good times.

check out my band

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 05:19:08 GMT

[click the banner]

Uh, okay, whatever. + Merced + xii xxi

Sat, 19 Dec 2009 07:00:52 GMT

-irritated look- (I do not understand so many people. I guess I will keep this annoyance to myself and shrug it off like it should be- do not be surprised to read an irritated rant later aimed at particular people, though.)

ANYWAYS.

I had a delightful time in Merced. I took the Amtrak there on Tuesday and met Kairu at the station. We walked back to his house and began chit chatting and catching up while drinking wine and smokin' pot. After being silly, we got down to business and started recording, then went to bed. Woke up, talked for hours. It's really refreshing talking to a real friend. Then went over to his friends house so they could have band practice in preparation for their last show. Went back to Kairu's house and ATTEMPTED to be productive, but we were sucked into a land of retards and bears. You have no idea. We laughed for hours before literally passing out from brain fart. Finally on Saturday we were able to finish two more songs for xii xxi (that's our new band) and I did some little chisaii parts on two Schwarze Sonne songs. Got ready to leave, met up with Wing King and Jon, popped some 1000mg Morphine Sulfate, and headed to Castro Valley to meet up with Nero. Jon's car broke down JUST as we got there - it sucked! Met up with Nero and talked for awhile, he was very interesting. Then preceeded to plot what to do about the car situation. AAA came and towed it to a place, then I had to call my Mom to have her come pick me up since I had court this morning at 8:30am. Morphine kicked in fully, I was terribly sick. Threw up a TON. Mom got me, went home, threw up more- passed out. Woke up this morning, shaking and vomiting. Apparently I over dosed on it. Went to court, shaking and trying my hardest not to vomit, annnnnnnnnd got off with a Wet and Reckless instead of a DUI!!

Fantastico!

Now I am resting peacefully at home. My stomach still hurts a bit, but I am feeling a lot better. I have a photoshoot tomorrow with a not so great photographer, then I'm going to Cobb with Ravelle and Clark to chill and do another shoot for Sugar Vanity.

Phew, that was a lot.

ps.
BEARS HAVE A BIG SLEEP

pss.
I'm a two-headed yeti!

FUCK YES.

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 04:12:37 GMT

I finally found a roommate to move with me in July to San Jose!

If you live around there, let me know <3

Updating via Safe Way.

Mon, 14 Dec 2009 23:57:37 GMT

Wearing my five inch heels. I feel like a total prostitute.

I'm leaving for Merced tomorrow to go record vocals for a new music project called xii xxi // fuck off // take pictures // get crunk with Kyle.

I'm very excited, though I hate bus/train rides. At least I have a gigantic, new book to read.
Anyways, here are a few more silly shots from a shoot with Josh Bowers a couple weeks ago.

derp derp derp durr

heart removed neatly with a bowie knife

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 23:13:07 GMT

pick up the blade and join the dots.

INSTA-BONER:

I've been so overwhelmed with ideas lately when all I really want to do is go frolic in sketchy abandoned places.

Anyways, Tuesday I am leaving for Merced to go hangout/record/be amazing with Kyle.
I think we'll probably finish three songs or so. I'm coming back Thursday evening, then I have court and a photoshoot Friday.

I should also really be starting work at Peking Tokyo again. I have been so broke. It's hard to make all of your fantastic ideas come to life when you're too broke to buy coffee- and really, caffeine always comes first. Plus, I am trying to save up to get my own place come February.